May 19, 2016

it's the little things

lately i've been in such a slump. 'baby blues', they call it, but it is much worse than that. though i haven't had a blood panel done yet (in the works), i have been diagnosed with postpartum depression, which is no small thing for us mamas. i didn't experience it with bry or oliver, so these feelings are all so new to me.

i've had a few friends to lean on, and my midwife and doula, and they've all made some awesome suggestions on how to just get through the day. one thing in common that they've advised is to get a 'gratitude journal' and list off one thing that you were grateful for that day. after heading to marshall's one night to pick up a wall office organizer they didn't end up having, i wandered around and binge shopped. i decided to check their clearance section for things and discovered this little 'instant happy journal' tucked away in the back under a bunch of broken items. i flipped it over to check its clearance price (because i think everything on clearance should be $2 and have to double check to make sure it is) and saw that it was $8. i almost put it back, but told myself that i needed something like this. i needed a book that was going to prompt me to find happiness in each day. so i caved and bought it.

i immediately got home and started to thumb through it and let me tell you... this is exactly what i needed! i needed a journal that was going to prompt me into not just making a list of things i am grateful for each day, but give me the opportunity to see each day in a new light. to take my experiences and shape them into something new and positive. and it even gives you the opportunity to be vulnerable and go through the motions. i think writing out one thing you're grateful for is great, but sometimes it can just be a band-aid for the real issue and doesn't let you broaden what you're truly experiencing. and for me, a band-aid won't cut it.

so far, it has really put my day into perspective. i've been able to look at my day and see the happiness in it without having to analyze anything. because analyzing things can be very overwhelming (for me). i like that i can carve out a few minutes of my day to focus and reflect, write it out, and then let it go. it's right there on paper-i don't have to let it consume me anymore. of course, that's easier said than done, but it is something this book is helping me with and my hope is that i will be able to reflect, write, and let it go with more ease as time goes on.

beside the journal, i'm trying to find the little things that make me happy; like, buying myself a new shirt the other day and having some time alone with my husband (we got to go on a date! without kids!). even just being able to sit down and have a cup hot of coffee makes this mama very happy. i think its very important to have your happiness cup refilled all the time, so when you're able to do that-whether by purchasing something for you or taking a bath or having some girl time-take full advantage.

it's easy to let the things of this world get in the way of how happy we can be. of course, when you're dealing with anxiety and postpartum depression, you don't really have any control over it. but whether you're suffering is clinical or not, find the little things in life that make you smile. i encourage you to grab your stack of post-it's and write out something you were grateful for today. or buy yourself (you deserve it!) a gratitude journal. there's this really neat one i thought about getting (and i still might) that seems like a great happy booster and a goal-getter in one. whatever works for you, do it! it really only takes a few minutes to pick out the happiness in your day.

what are your 'little things'? share with me in the comments!

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